I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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