no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
