i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
