She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
