He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
