Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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