at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
