He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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