Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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