ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
