piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Green mimosas i think yes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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