Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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