I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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