Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
