I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
