No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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