i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
