can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
