I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
