i barfeds in our rink
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
