The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
