The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
