I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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