Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
