i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
