hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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