I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
