do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
