It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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