Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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