if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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