Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
