Slut skills are useful in every country.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
