i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
