His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
