He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
