are you still at the devil's house?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
