You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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