we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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