pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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