they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
