me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
