Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
