He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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