So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
