I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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