It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
