This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize