He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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