Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
