he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
