I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
