did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
