The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We need to rekindle our bromance
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
